My inner resistance has been developed over many years – whether that is resistant to change, the unknown, or resistance without reason at all. I’m sure many can relate… there is a comfort zone for a reason right? Let me backup a bit… most of my adult life I have been a master of hedonic happiness (relying on external factors to create happiness), always doing fun things – making sure there was never a dull moment. Then i realized i had actually become a slave to hedonic happiness because if I wasn’t doing something exciting or comforting I was restless. Avoidance is a form of resistance and It was paramount that I avoid pain resist activities or emotions that may trigger it. Nathaniel Branden said ‘fear and pain should be treated as signals not to close our eyes but to open them wider.’ I now know that facing and releasing pain is a critical component of mental and physical growth so to resist it would be doing a disservice to myself to resist it any longer.
Suicide rate has risen 30% since in the last 20 years, and teen suicide has risen 70%. 45,000 Americans kill themselves every year and 72,000 Americans die every year due to opiates. It is truly heartbreaking how easy it is to numb and how daunting it can seem to feel. Meditation has taught me that it is unnecessary to ‘deal with the pain’ that I can just accept the feeling of the emotion and have little attachment to it. Through my advanced happiness training program I have learned methods of overcoming resistance in healthy ways and feel empowered over my emotions rather than letting them define me. I still may feel drained from letting myself feel, and participating in an emotional release, however my thoughts are clearer and I feel more connected to myself than when I was using less healthy methods of resistance / avoidance. I have already learned and changed so much… I used to pride myself off short cuts and figuring out the most efficient way of doing just enough to get by for fear of breaking a sweat. My journey has showed me that the only way through is through, and hell, it’s my life so i may as well be present for all of it. So – here goes, I am making a conscious decision to overcome unhealthy resistance, because I deserve to see what possibilities are in store for me, and if I don’t do something, nothing is going to change.